so i finally got down to my underwear at a show.  why this is a personal goal of mine might be lost on some people, and that is fine, but as i further cement myself as the Marky Mark of Briefcase Rockers (*sound of everyone sighing*), i must admit, it felt pretty good.  the predominantly lesbian crowd may or may not have gotten a kick out of it, but after such lyrics as “i like girls with an IUD” (followed by an explanation of why i do) and a freestyle called “booty what?” and a song where the hook describes feeling up a girl’s butt while she’s passed out … i figured it couldn’t get any worse.  i wish i could say that i took my pants OFF (it was more of an “around the ankles” kind of thing) and that i did more than just my last song like that (the Debmaster-produced “eat the pillow”), but hey, it’s a start.

side note:  as i freestyled on stage with my homegirl shirlette i saw a face in the crowd that really resembled a heartbreaker from my past.  i raced through the club later trying to find her, and there she was …. holding hands with a girl and sharing meaningful eye contact with her.  why i decided that i like sporty-looking girls with short hair, i don’t know, but damn if that f*cks up the odds, at least around here …..

side note 2:  ladies, when trying to set up your single friend with an eligible bachelor, please be more discreet.  saying “isn’t she beautiful?  i think she is so BEAUTIFUL!!” 10 times in front of said friend is just awkward.  for everyone.  also, saying that said friend looks JUST like a certain celebrity, who is not famous for being attractive, does not help anything.  and definitely do not do things like say (when said bachelor and said friend are actually engaged in a bit of conversation) “and so it begins!” leaning back with your arms spread wide and your gaze darting back n forth from person to person like you are basking in your own match-making glory.  all that is beginning there is a desperate urge for said bachelor to flee to the nearest bathrom to hide and send text messages about how he just dropped his pants during his set.

cop that LOW LEAF, y’all.

huevos out.