1. after living by myself in my wood-panelled pad for 4 years, i have rented a room out. to a girl. a good friend. we have not slept together nor do we have any set plans to do so. she is hot, technically single, and in a band that is way more famous than me. what does this mean for Huevos? stay tuned.

2. anyone who has ever wondered what one of my shows is like can get a rather unbiased description by reading this review:

Juan Huevos from Chapel Hill had a set that would make a sailor blush; the guy clearly loves the ladies and obscenities. His songs were laden with loads of T&A, profanity, and all kinds of things not fit to print.

Shirtless and sweaty with a shaggy mohawk tucked under a baseball cap, Huevos hopped around like an MC monkey while pushing flashing knobs on a soundboard, or flipping the switch to start a strobe light attack.

Huevos set a pretty self-deprecating tone, beckoning the crowd to shout, “Huevos is a piece of dirt,” while proudly declaring his loud indifference to whether the crowd loved him or hated him. Huevos incited a playful “f-me, f-you,” exchange with the audience before shouting loudly to “think of him when you pee,” in between songs about “My Little Pony” and remixed Outkast.

(the “pee” line is actually a song lyric, but whatever.)

3. the first webisode of The J Waves Show is now on youtube, featuring music from the homey Crashy (EP coming soon!!). it details a recent experience of mine, one that might seem too personal for the internet, but anyone that knows me or my music knows IDGAF about that kind of thing. so if you can’t handle things like me scrubbing my junk with a washcloth while talking to the camera or seeing my j*zz in a cup, then you better just stay away from this. i may be on some Tom Green sh*t, and i may unfortunately look like Bono in some of the clips …. f*ck it. it’s a consumer’s market, y’all, the choice is yours. there’s a lot of funny sh*t that happens to people in this world, not everyone likes to talk about it. i do.

Rockers. We got a point guard (Dell Edison) who played college ball and Subtitle and I played at least one year of high school plus mad pick-up. MusSck’s down for shooting guard or back-up point. Anybody else play? Does Stones Throw or Def Jux have a squad? Hahaaa… let’s go!

today my laptop died and can’t make any beats right now, i am saving up all my money to purchase one as soon as possible

so I’m in london and since none of the english homies actually read my myspace page, (that has dates and news on it) none of said homies came to the show the other night with busdriver and myself. next time folks, I’ll take the time away from jumping on and off planes and fainting in clubs due to exhaustion to send you dudes engraved invitations. so you know that you are invited. shit was bonkers as fuck and there were enough girls there to where you pretty much HAD to make out with a sick bird or else your night was a wrap. thanks ladies and THANKS to Thugs N’ Hugs clique, Dante Fried Chicken, Young Chris, and everyone who came thru to see it go down. there were actually lots of folks there and they were dressed to the nines just to eat some bomb-ass chicken. I actually strolled all the way from london victoria station to old street (across town, I got to mob bucrevham palace and all that shit) just to eat some of this chicken and it was worth it. I also drank 4 pints of beer before I even saw an idea of the stage….
the picture above has nothing to do with london and everything to do with my younger brother from another mother and projectile blowedest alumn Nocando or no can do the lock, his new free EP and him touring with Haiku De Tat (aceyalone, abstract rude and mikah nine) pretty much all summer long. I’m proud of the dude and he’s bookending his exploits with the patient E.P. before he drops his alpha pup release later this year. he said he recorded 50+ songs for his new shit and he wanted to showcase some of this prolificness that rubbed off onto him from the previous generation that brought you such mainstays as murs, busdriver, the anticon crew and myself. young people who think record deals grow on trees and equate blog placement (along with myspace hits) to affluent price points, take notice.

here’s some behind the scenes footage of the high/on/off video shoot, along with some untreated footy that the homie dima the greek put together today.

now that I have kicked it for those 9 days, I intend to do a longer day by day blog on my myspace page, but I just wanted to say that russia definitely gets the thumbs up from the crev commando and I have officially christened moscow as “moscrev” due to the sheer cuttiness of the city and it’s inhabitants. it was snowing in april and it doesn’t take much to break the law and gain the cops attention, you just have to look like you have money or be friends with a snitch. 2-99 records gang definitely showed me the most hospitable time that could be shown and I greatly appreciate it. they had me sorted however I desired and shit here is SO expensive, I knew that the homies were going all out for a dude and that isn’t forgotten easily. the fans are WAY about it too! it may not be 1000 people in a 500 person room, but I had good times and ripped it in banging spots the whole campaign. the crev wave invasion has struck behind the iron curtain and the first servo payload hit target…..

as for what is going on around our compound:

1. (ladies first) the low leaf free download dropped on 4/20 and we weren’t smoking a lot of bud that day. I’m lying. the EP is banging and for all of you astute listeners, you may have heard some of the songs floating around,…
2. lazersword’s record should be almost done and dropping this spring/summer on innovative leisure (a new stone’s throw imprint) and the single (the infamous barn burner GUCCI SWEATSHIRT) is dropping on the scottish bang-centric label Wireblock, which brought you that Hudson Mohawke Ooops 12″ last year. what up to the lucky me homies…..
3. juan huevos is putting the mastering touches on his crev wave debut entitled “Treasure Bath” and the shit is a smoker. ever one to surprise, he has some of his timeless classics as well as some of that new-new that he will whip up over dinner and a bowl of dank. I made one beat on there too. banging….
4. meanest man contest is doing something interesting everyday and they usually update you on here before I do, so I will keep to that theme. however, eric is on a mission working on some new biz that will peel back some wigs…
5. my russian exclusive release “nerves of ice” is out and about but only 1000 were made and only 200 are meant to be seen outside of the iron curain and whatnot, so get at me if you wanna cop.
6. debmaster is working on a new record and ridd? from CVE and myself are doing a song for it. that shit is nutso.
7. I get sent new gajah remixes and random songs on the regs and all I can say is “hurry up and put an album together nick, before someone else bites you.”
8. we got a new crash overdrive EP n the works as well as a new crunc tesla EP that he has already turned in. that shit is wild as heck.
9. 4X4champion AKA Kofie of Rough Draftsmen prestige, has been hooking up the ill podcasts and random blasts on his keep drafting website that I STRONGLY suggest everyone check out. amazing content on it…
10. if you aren’t already his myspace friend and getting hit off with his daily blasts, debruit has a new EP that just dropped on musique large and is lighting up charts here and there. I imagine if I would have guested on his album back in the day instead of trying to hook him up with briefcase, I probably would actually be able to rap over his beats. this seems like a topic that I have to take up with his manager…..

we still have more in the deck and more in effect. now that winter has passed thru most of the world, we can get back on the block and back off the monitors a bit. I’m playing in london with busdriver and thugs N hugs this weekend, so if you are in the area then come thru…..

(oh yeah, before I leave I had to leave you with this. mighty murs is coming back to his roots…)

so i finally got down to my underwear at a show.  why this is a personal goal of mine might be lost on some people, and that is fine, but as i further cement myself as the Marky Mark of Briefcase Rockers (*sound of everyone sighing*), i must admit, it felt pretty good.  the predominantly lesbian crowd may or may not have gotten a kick out of it, but after such lyrics as “i like girls with an IUD” (followed by an explanation of why i do) and a freestyle called “booty what?” and a song where the hook describes feeling up a girl’s butt while she’s passed out … i figured it couldn’t get any worse.  i wish i could say that i took my pants OFF (it was more of an “around the ankles” kind of thing) and that i did more than just my last song like that (the Debmaster-produced “eat the pillow”), but hey, it’s a start.

side note:  as i freestyled on stage with my homegirl shirlette i saw a face in the crowd that really resembled a heartbreaker from my past.  i raced through the club later trying to find her, and there she was …. holding hands with a girl and sharing meaningful eye contact with her.  why i decided that i like sporty-looking girls with short hair, i don’t know, but damn if that f*cks up the odds, at least around here …..

side note 2:  ladies, when trying to set up your single friend with an eligible bachelor, please be more discreet.  saying “isn’t she beautiful?  i think she is so BEAUTIFUL!!” 10 times in front of said friend is just awkward.  for everyone.  also, saying that said friend looks JUST like a certain celebrity, who is not famous for being attractive, does not help anything.  and definitely do not do things like say (when said bachelor and said friend are actually engaged in a bit of conversation) “and so it begins!” leaning back with your arms spread wide and your gaze darting back n forth from person to person like you are basking in your own match-making glory.  all that is beginning there is a desperate urge for said bachelor to flee to the nearest bathrom to hide and send text messages about how he just dropped his pants during his set.

cop that LOW LEAF, y’all.

huevos out.

yeah low leaf’s EP is sick as fuck but she needs to recognize when a nickel is telling a story and not trying to swing on a bra strap. this is briefcase rockers, everything we tell you to press play on is fetch, choice and top shelf. anyway, in a malestrom of deadline fever I saw one thing that brought a smile to my grim face in this grim city of cabbage, concrete and crime. check out the dude LoTek and this really ill video that does the equally ill song justice. I had ideas for all of this and he did it to the extreme. do it before someone else does it better than you……

okay, that is eminem on the left for those that don’t watch videos and he is partying with a dancing bear. a real big WTF goes out to you em out there in motor city or whatever. dre day has struck again……

as for day one:
I wake up to my cat yelling in my ear for me to wake up at 9 and my flight is at 2. After jumping on a black horse and riding across town like it was the middle of the night and I was paul revere narcing out some redcoats, I hail a cab and luckily Mario Andretti’s older turkish uncle was behind the wheel because we BARELY get there in time, or so I think. I get to the check-in ready to tell some wild tale and have these folks shut me the fuck down like in paris, (that’s paris though…) only for it to be NO THING to get in. I could have checked 90 bags full of dust in and I think I would have got some frequent flyer miles for it…. I get on to a plane full of super hot athletic russian ladies and randoms, just to have a lady look at me in abject terror like I was a giant streptococcus bacterium who got permission to move aboard the cabin. I laughed. The food was the shit, which is weird for plane food (only swiss air and british airways have equally impressive in-flight cuisine) and I totally forgot that the clock moved ahead 2 hours and 2 seasons to a shady fall afternoon. I waited in the passport control line for one hour or so and saw some REALLY interesting things. I’ll list 2 of them:

1. The line for “diplomats” was all chinese people who may have been from the same family. There were 55 of them and they were juiced in a united way. Balling like united, too. A short dude who obviously WASN’T from the royal fam tried to cut in line to get to the front and the russians were not having that shit whatsoever. When the young homie tried to cut another time, this warren ellis looking motherfucker drops his suitcase on his FOOT, thus securing him in place.
2. Right next to passport control was the office for the po-lice. The airport po-lice consist of lots of broads and some frat party looking dudes, but they are icy as heck and I don’t mean with diamonds. 2 dudes are standing in the line nearest to the office and before they go to passport control, one of the dudes gets out of line and comes back with another crev looking dude who then proceeds to hand the 1st dude (the one who stayed in line) a envelope that contained a number of documents and a fucking passport. When people in line were objecting to the 2nd dude and their new third friend cutting, the 3rd dude just said “shhhh” and put his finger to his lips. He then said it was okay and not to worry. In russian. I saw all of this and quietly marvelled at the pure concentrated G shit that was happening before my very eyes.

After finally going thru that madness, round 2 madness pops up and it comes in the form of the “nothing to declare” section and the 9 ring circus that they had popping off there. I saw a woman with luggage that could have bought my apartment building. After wrestling my way thru these insane rich super-capitalists and latter day savages, I then see the homie Georg Korg out front and we mob to the whip. I get taken to what appears to be the hood (you never really know with all this communist architecture) and we go shoot a commercial and smoke exhaust pipe bats filled with cardboard and corkscrew shavings along with some type of weed. I still haven’t left the house and I don’t really want to after the driver was like “if you see people stare at you, do not be scared because they may have went 30 years without seeing someone like you in real life.” I was already used to that one (see slovenia 06 and the homie who “never seen a real nigger before”) but I don’t feel like being on exhibit until I get on stage. I’m here for NINE days?!?

Here is the “commercial” for the moscow show. My life is truly surreal……

yeah, while I should be filling out last minute tax forms and packing to go to russia I’m on youtube watching this madness instead. the folks you can see are kenny anderson (who is giving the look of someone out of a job) and marc johnson (who probably did that yesterday but forgot). when I fall on hard times I don’t look at the bible, I look at skateboard footage and internet porn…..

oh yeah, here is the cover to my new album called “nerves of ice” coming sooner than you think. the girl on the cover is ren and she has a tattoo of the GOO album cover on her arm….

I don’t wanna drop names but why would a canadian dreadlocked rapper who has won juno awards not admit he was actually himself at a party where no one really gave a f*&k who he was any way? let a nugget know.
also, Kode 9 is a good man. I think he might be a vampire because because he is painfully afraid of cameras but other than that ……( I was gonna slip him a cd but then I thought fuck it, let ‘em come to me haha, besides I’m on BEAR!)… whats with pushy dudes who think they are photographers anyhow?? dubstep gets the freaks out at night that’s for sher.
I also dropped some crev before I opened for Kode 9 this time (I have opened for him 3 times) .. some Blingmod from one of Gino’s forthcoming releases (I think)…mixed with some new Ras G and a tune of mine from the same Subtitle E.P. called STFU (check the second half for the super crev-asstation). Other choice cuts may have consisted of Joker, Debruit, Disrupt (of Jahtari), Starkey Zomby, Flying Lotus and RSD.
Just letting people know my track for the comp might not be what people would expect, it’s kinda like one man , a drum kit, mini korg, live bass and some loopy, wonky breaks meets 70’s Japanese psyche rock keyboards in a dub stylee. I think it’s sick and am hoping to bring an bit of a different flavor to the comp that might break it up a bit, or break it down?
Got some stems to remix Unison as well as Meanest Men Contest and am looking forward to getting down to it soon, and putting together an up rocker for Low Leaf to write to as well. Hit me up if you want to come to vancouver and experience some west coast toasties, skidsters, fragrant techno dreads and shrub rockers. ” I might not always get up when I have to get up, but I always get down when I have to get down” Steve Buscemi

big hiccup,

clmlka,